11/9

I hear calls for unity
I read admonitions to
… move on
…accept reality
…respect feelings
…support the new direction.
…”rejoice with those who rejoice.”

I will.
I resolve to.
I can.
In time.

In your haste to move on
to celebrate,
to share victorious congratulations,
remember those who are grieving,
as I hope I could have,
had the tables been turned.

I have lost.
Not an election, but
I have lost ground.
I have lost ground on a path towards

* respect and dignity
* full acceptance of my loved ones of color
as equal, protected, valued,
* recognition of those who are “abled” as well as
those “differently abled”
* the assurance that people – high ranking and the rank and file – will be held accountable for aggression toward
and disregard of girls and women
* truly caring for people who are in desperate need
* respect for the other – whether that is a foreigner,
someone who is LGBTQ, a person who worships differently than I do – or not at all, or one who falls into yet another other category.

It’s like losing a loved one!
Many have quick, pat answers for that, too;
formulas for how grief and life works

“It’s God’s will…”
“You will make it…”
“It’s just like when I…”
“Don’t be so dramatic…”
“This is no time for self-pity…”
“Dust yourself off…”

Please, don’t.
Can you just give me a little minute?

I will rally.
Yes, I will.
But today, I humbly acknowledge
the pain, the loss, the disappointment.
I work hard to keep from using
pejorative language
that would label you.
It helps me to imagine sitting
across from friends and loved ones
whom I disagree with, but still respect.

I will rally.
Yes, I will.
But you cannot regulate grief,
put an expiration date on disillusionment,
disregard the time it takes simply
to process all that has been,
and ponder the ramifications
for the future.

I will rally.
Yes, I will.
I will rally to fight,
Not to fight you.
Not to prove who’s right or who’s wrong.
I will fight
NOT against, but FOR all I value.
… FOR all the things I wrote about yesterday,
which are as true today as they were 24 hours ago.
I will fight for
fairness,
justice,
love,
respect,
consideration,
safety,
grace,
and opportunity.

Because of today’s loss – today’s grief –
my fight may be stronger
louder
more public
more outspoken
less afraid.

I suspect there will be times in which
we may fight together.
You and I.

We will rally.

© Julia Penner-Zook, 2016
Photo credit: Milada Vigerova via unsplash.com